How Will Today's Generation be Remembered?
I know I’m going to sound like that old fart who walked up
hill to school both ways – in the snow – but I gotta say, I think most of today’s
kids are pretty coddled.
I don’t remember things being like this when I was a kid.
So… pampered. In contrast, I remember not always winning games. I remember not
getting trophies when I wasn’t first, second or third. I remember having to
fend for myself in socially awkward
situations and defending myself to my
teachers. I remember getting bad grades when I’d earned them – and keeping them
because it was what I deserved. I remember competing, losing, and crying. I
remember staying out in the neighborhood with my friends. After dark. Without
adult supervision. And living to tell about it. I remember being put in my
place regularly and not feeling entitled just
because. I remember earning the good things that happened to me and
accepting punishment for the bad things I did. I remember, you know, being a
kid.
The generation of children we’re raising today won’t – for
the most part – have many of those memories. As I see it, many of them are
learning to live in a bubble, where they always win, stay clean and safe and
have mommies and daddies that will fix anything that goes wrong. They’re
learning that they’re entitled to nearly anything they want without having to
put in the time and energy to earn it. They’re learning to be scared of the
world that might hurt them. They’re learning that there are few consequences
and if there are, someone else will take care of them. They’re learning that
“participation trophies” are just as good as first place.
On the other hand, there are a lot of fundamental things
they are not learning. I don’t see
them learning to be independent, to get hurt, to heal, to communicate, to win
properly, to show grace, to accept rejection, to fight their own battles, to be
strong, to lose. It makes me sad that they’re missing out on those important
lessons.
I know why these things aren’t being taught. They’re hard.
And it hurts to see your kids learn these difficult lessons. Our job as parents
– our most important job, really – is to keep our children safe. We all know
what it’s like to “break up” with a best friend, to fail a test, to lose a
game, to be under prepared and overly embarrassed. It sucks. Truly sucks. And
we don’t want that for our kids. But by protecting them – however
well-intentioned – we are crippling them and setting them up for inevitable
heartache as the hurts get bigger and their tool boxes are woefully empty.
I want this generation of kids to be known for overcoming
their well-meaning helicopter
parents and for being independent, driven, creative and successful people. I
hope they transcend the suffocation of lovingly over-protective mothers and
fathers and follow their dreams, whatever they may be. In fact, I don’t just
hope that happens; I expect it to. I just expect that it will take them a
little longer to get to them since they’ll first have to achieve all of the
dreams their parents have told them to have.
This generation of children has so much to offer and so many
ways to express it. I want them to be known as the generation that kicked ass
as soon as their parents stopped kissing it for them.
